1Jesus said these things, then lifting up his eyes to heaven, he said, “Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may also glorify you; 2even as you gave him authority over all flesh, so he will give eternal life to all whom you have given him. 3This is eternal life, that they should know you, the only true God, and him whom you sent, Jesus Christ. 4I glorified you on the earth. I have accomplished the work which you have given me to do. 5Now, Father, glorify me with your own self with the glory which I had with you before the world existed.
6“I revealed your name to the people whom you have given me out of the world. They were yours, and you have given them to me. They have kept your word. 7Now they have known that all things whatever you have given me are from you, 8for the words which you have given me I have given to them; and they received them, and knew for sure that I came from you. They have believed that you sent me. 9I pray for them. I don’t pray for the world, but for those whom you have given me, for they are yours. 10All things that are mine are yours, and yours are mine, and I am glorified in them. 11I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, keep them through your name which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are. 12While I was with them in the world, I kept them in your name. I have kept those whom you have given me. None of them is lost except the son of destruction, that the Scripture might be fulfilled. 13But now I come to you, and I say these things in the world, that they may have my joy made full in themselves. 14I have given them your word. The world hated them because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. 15I pray not that you would take them from the world, but that you would keep them from the evil one. 16They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. 17Sanctify them in your truth. Your word is truth. 18As you sent me into the world, even so I have sent them into the world. 19For their sakes I sanctify myself, that they themselves also may be sanctified in truth.
20“Not for these only do I pray, but for those also who will believe in me through their word, 21that they may all be one; even as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be one in us; that the world may believe that you sent me. 22The glory which you have given me, I have given to them, that they may be one, even as we are one, 23I in them, and you in me, that they may be perfected into one, that the world may know that you sent me and loved them, even as you loved me. 24Father, I desire that they also whom you have given me be with me where I am, that they may see my glory which you have given me, for you loved me before the foundation of the world. 25Righteous Father, the world hasn’t known you, but I knew you; and these knew that you sent me. 26I made known to them your name, and will make it known; that the love with which you loved me may be in them, and I in them.”
When the word love is used, a variety of ideas might be in the mind of people in contemporary society. It may be loving sports, pets, friends, children, spouses and God. Love may be only an emotional response, or it can be an act of sacrifice for another person. The kind of love asked of the husband by the apostle Paul is not one of emotion or romantic attraction. The term agape (ἀγάπη) is a decision of the will by which a person seeks the highest good for another person (a la Charles Finney), according to the will of God. This is the kind of love that Paul exhorts the husband to have for his wife, and does so by comparing this human love to that of Christ's love for the church.
The apostle's teaching is based first on the nature and responsibility of male and female in Genesis 1-3, to be one, to procreate, and to dominate the earth as vice-regents with God. Adam and Eve were created to be partners in fulfilling the purposes of God in the earth. They were both created in the image of God, albeit Eve through Adam, and they were told to "be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the sky, and over every living thing that moves on the earth" (Gen 1:28).
Based on the biblical teaching of Genesis and the parallel example of how Christ relates to the church, he provides several duties of the husband to be like Jesus. The love of which Paul speaks is not emotional or romantic love, but a love directed toward the good of another person besides oneself. We have something unusual in the biblical text that is different from what one expects. Since immediately before this instruction he had commanded wives to be subject to their husbands as they are obedient to the Lord, one would have expected an exhortation on how a husband is to rule his wife, but this is absent. Rather he teaches how a husband is to love his wife, seeking her highest good. Though the man and woman may have initially had a romantic attraction, upon marriage the love becomes an act of the will to love another more than oneself. Moreover, this command is based on the prototype of how Christ loves the church.
There are several ways that apostle illustrates how the husband is to love his wife. The first is that he is to love by sacrificing for his wife, even as was done by Jesus for the church: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Eph 5:25). Thus, in the marriage, the husband is to give of himself, not get for himself.
Second, the husband loves like Christ by sanctifying his wife (Eph 5:26) by cleansing her with the Word of God. This is similar to what we see Jesus saying about the church (at that time the disciples) in John 17:17: "Sanctify them in your truth. Your word is truth." As famed New Testament scholar, B.F. Westcott said, "Christ loved the Church not because it was perfectly lovable, but in order to make it such."
The third manner in which a husband may love his wife is to nourish and cherish her, as Christ does the church. This requires the husband to become aware of her needs. The apostle Peter speaks to this when he exhorts husbands to dwell with their wives according to knowledge (1 Pet 3:7). He must love her like he loves himself. He must discover her interests and find ways in which to fulfill her desires and dreams. He will cherish (Eph 5:29) her by being sensitive to her concerns and needs.
Fourth, the husband is to commit to her. He does this by leaving his father and mother to become one flesh with his wife. By this is not meant to abandon one's relationship with father and mother, brother and sister, or son and daughter. It is that the husband, unlike the other relationships, has a much more intimate relationship with his wife than with any other relative or friend. He becomes "one flesh" with her, one that demands commitment to the relationship.
Fifth, with this intimate relationship of a husband and wife comes the need to love her by sexually fulfilling her. This is a difficult subject to discuss, since it is the most intimate and personal aspect of two persons, the sharing of bodies and emotions that blends the lives of the couple. Even the Hebrew terms "male" and "female" speak of the sexual nature and uniqueness of the man and woman as intended by God. They are different anatomically and yet they are one together. The one flesh of Genesis speaks of this reality. The apostle emphasizes the importance of this relationship in 1 Corinthians 7:2-5, something unlikely in the ancient world. He presents the husband and wife equally having a duty to the other sexually that can only be broken by the duty of commitment to spiritual responsibilities, but then only for a short time.
Sixth, and last, the apostle emphasizes again the need of a husband to love his wife, with the added duty of the wife (consistent with the teaching regarding wives to subject themselves to their husbands in 5:22-24) to respect her husband. Each partner has been given responsibility for themselves, and not on the other, in order to strengthen the marriage as a reflection of Christ and His church toward each other.