1Now concerning the things about which you wrote to me: it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2But, because of sexual immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3Let the husband give his wife the affection owed her, and likewise also the wife her husband. 4The wife doesn’t have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise also the husband doesn’t have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5Don’t deprive one another, unless it is by consent for a season, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and may be together again, that Satan doesn’t tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6But this I say by way of concession, not of commandment. 7Yet I wish that all men were like me. However, each man has his own gift from God, one of this kind, and another of that kind. 8But I say to the unmarried and to widows, it is good for them if they remain even as I am. 9But if they don’t have self-control, let them marry. For it’s better to marry than to burn with passion. 10But to the married I command—not I, but the Lord—that the wife not leave her husband 11(but if she departs, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband not leave his wife.
12But to the rest I—not the Lord—say, if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she is content to live with him, let him not leave her. 13The woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he is content to live with her, let her not leave her husband. 14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in the husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15Yet if the unbeliever departs, let there be separation. The brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace. 16For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
17Only, as the Lord has distributed to each man, as God has called each, so let him walk. So I command in all the assemblies.
18Was anyone called having been circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? Let him not be circumcised. 19Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is keeping God’s commandments. 20Let each man stay in that calling in which he was called. 21Were you called being a bondservant? Don’t let that bother you, but if you get an opportunity to become free, use it. 22For he who was called in the Lord being a bondservant is the Lord’s free man. Likewise he who was called being free is Christ’s bondservant. 23You were bought with a price. Don’t become bondservants of men. 24Brothers, let each man, in whatever condition he was called, stay in that condition with God.
25Now concerning virgins, I have no commandment from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who has obtained mercy from the Lord to be trustworthy. 26Therefore I think that because of the distress that is on us, it’s good for a man to remain as he is. 27Are you bound to a wife? Don’t seek to be freed. Are you free from a wife? Don’t seek a wife. 28But if you marry, you have not sinned. If a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have oppression in the flesh, and I want to spare you. 29But I say this, brothers: the time is short. From now on, both those who have wives may be as though they had none; 30and those who weep, as though they didn’t weep; and those who rejoice, as though they didn’t rejoice; and those who buy, as though they didn’t possess; 31and those who use the world, as not using it to the fullest. For the mode of this world passes away.
32But I desire to have you to be free from cares. He who is unmarried is concerned for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33but he who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife. 34There is also a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 35This I say for your own benefit, not that I may ensnare you, but for that which is appropriate, and that you may attend to the Lord without distraction.
36But if any man thinks that he is behaving inappropriately toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of her age, and if need so requires, let him do what he desires. He doesn’t sin. Let them marry. 37But he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no urgency, but has power over his own will, and has determined in his own heart to keep his own virgin, does well. 38So then both he who gives his own virgin in marriage does well, and he who doesn’t give her in marriage does better.
39A wife is bound by law for as long as her husband lives; but if the husband is dead, she is free to be married to whomever she desires, only in the Lord. 40But she is happier if she stays as she is, in my judgment, and I think that I also have God’s Spirit.
When the word love is used, a variety of ideas might be in the mind of people in contemporary society. It may be loving sports, pets, friends, children, spouses and God. Love may be only an emotional response, or it can be an act of sacrifice for another person. The kind of love asked of the husband by the apostle Paul is not one of emotion or romantic attraction. The term agape (ἀγάπη) is a decision of the will by which a person seeks the highest good for another person (a la Charles Finney), according to the will of God. This is the kind of love that Paul exhorts the husband to have for his wife, and does so by comparing this human love to that of Christ's love for the church.
The apostle's teaching is based first on the nature and responsibility of male and female in Genesis 1-3, to be one, to procreate, and to dominate the earth as vice-regents with God. Adam and Eve were created to be partners in fulfilling the purposes of God in the earth. They were both created in the image of God, albeit Eve through Adam, and they were told to "be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the sky, and over every living thing that moves on the earth" (Gen 1:28).
Based on the biblical teaching of Genesis and the parallel example of how Christ relates to the church, he provides several duties of the husband to be like Jesus. The love of which Paul speaks is not emotional or romantic love, but a love directed toward the good of another person besides oneself. We have something unusual in the biblical text that is different from what one expects. Since immediately before this instruction he had commanded wives to be subject to their husbands as they are obedient to the Lord, one would have expected an exhortation on how a husband is to rule his wife, but this is absent. Rather he teaches how a husband is to love his wife, seeking her highest good. Though the man and woman may have initially had a romantic attraction, upon marriage the love becomes an act of the will to love another more than oneself. Moreover, this command is based on the prototype of how Christ loves the church.
There are several ways that apostle illustrates how the husband is to love his wife. The first is that he is to love by sacrificing for his wife, even as was done by Jesus for the church: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Eph 5:25). Thus, in the marriage, the husband is to give of himself, not get for himself.
Second, the husband loves like Christ by sanctifying his wife (Eph 5:26) by cleansing her with the Word of God. This is similar to what we see Jesus saying about the church (at that time the disciples) in John 17:17: "Sanctify them in your truth. Your word is truth." As famed New Testament scholar, B.F. Westcott said, "Christ loved the Church not because it was perfectly lovable, but in order to make it such."
The third manner in which a husband may love his wife is to nourish and cherish her, as Christ does the church. This requires the husband to become aware of her needs. The apostle Peter speaks to this when he exhorts husbands to dwell with their wives according to knowledge (1 Pet 3:7). He must love her like he loves himself. He must discover her interests and find ways in which to fulfill her desires and dreams. He will cherish (Eph 5:29) her by being sensitive to her concerns and needs.
Fourth, the husband is to commit to her. He does this by leaving his father and mother to become one flesh with his wife. By this is not meant to abandon one's relationship with father and mother, brother and sister, or son and daughter. It is that the husband, unlike the other relationships, has a much more intimate relationship with his wife than with any other relative or friend. He becomes "one flesh" with her, one that demands commitment to the relationship.
Fifth, with this intimate relationship of a husband and wife comes the need to love her by sexually fulfilling her. This is a difficult subject to discuss, since it is the most intimate and personal aspect of two persons, the sharing of bodies and emotions that blends the lives of the couple. Even the Hebrew terms "male" and "female" speak of the sexual nature and uniqueness of the man and woman as intended by God. They are different anatomically and yet they are one together. The one flesh of Genesis speaks of this reality. The apostle emphasizes the importance of this relationship in 1 Corinthians 7:2-5, something unlikely in the ancient world. He presents the husband and wife equally having a duty to the other sexually that can only be broken by the duty of commitment to spiritual responsibilities, but then only for a short time.
Sixth, and last, the apostle emphasizes again the need of a husband to love his wife, with the added duty of the wife (consistent with the teaching regarding wives to subject themselves to their husbands in 5:22-24) to respect her husband. Each partner has been given responsibility for themselves, and not on the other, in order to strengthen the marriage as a reflection of Christ and His church toward each other.