1Now concerning the things about which you wrote to me: it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2But, because of sexual immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3Let the husband give his wife the affection owed her, and likewise also the wife her husband. 4The wife doesn’t have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise also the husband doesn’t have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5Don’t deprive one another, unless it is by consent for a season, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and may be together again, that Satan doesn’t tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6But this I say by way of concession, not of commandment. 7Yet I wish that all men were like me. However, each man has his own gift from God, one of this kind, and another of that kind. 8But I say to the unmarried and to widows, it is good for them if they remain even as I am. 9But if they don’t have self-control, let them marry. For it’s better to marry than to burn with passion. 10But to the married I command—not I, but the Lord—that the wife not leave her husband 11(but if she departs, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband not leave his wife.
12But to the rest I—not the Lord—say, if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she is content to live with him, let him not leave her. 13The woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he is content to live with her, let her not leave her husband. 14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in the husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15Yet if the unbeliever departs, let there be separation. The brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace. 16For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
17Only, as the Lord has distributed to each man, as God has called each, so let him walk. So I command in all the assemblies.
18Was anyone called having been circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? Let him not be circumcised. 19Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is keeping God’s commandments. 20Let each man stay in that calling in which he was called. 21Were you called being a bondservant? Don’t let that bother you, but if you get an opportunity to become free, use it. 22For he who was called in the Lord being a bondservant is the Lord’s free man. Likewise he who was called being free is Christ’s bondservant. 23You were bought with a price. Don’t become bondservants of men. 24Brothers, let each man, in whatever condition he was called, stay in that condition with God.
25Now concerning virgins, I have no commandment from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who has obtained mercy from the Lord to be trustworthy. 26Therefore I think that because of the distress that is on us, it’s good for a man to remain as he is. 27Are you bound to a wife? Don’t seek to be freed. Are you free from a wife? Don’t seek a wife. 28But if you marry, you have not sinned. If a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have oppression in the flesh, and I want to spare you. 29But I say this, brothers: the time is short. From now on, both those who have wives may be as though they had none; 30and those who weep, as though they didn’t weep; and those who rejoice, as though they didn’t rejoice; and those who buy, as though they didn’t possess; 31and those who use the world, as not using it to the fullest. For the mode of this world passes away.
32But I desire to have you to be free from cares. He who is unmarried is concerned for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33but he who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife. 34There is also a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 35This I say for your own benefit, not that I may ensnare you, but for that which is appropriate, and that you may attend to the Lord without distraction.
36But if any man thinks that he is behaving inappropriately toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of her age, and if need so requires, let him do what he desires. He doesn’t sin. Let them marry. 37But he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no urgency, but has power over his own will, and has determined in his own heart to keep his own virgin, does well. 38So then both he who gives his own virgin in marriage does well, and he who doesn’t give her in marriage does better.
39A wife is bound by law for as long as her husband lives; but if the husband is dead, she is free to be married to whomever she desires, only in the Lord. 40But she is happier if she stays as she is, in my judgment, and I think that I also have God’s Spirit.
The Book of Philemon, a brief yet profound letter by the Apostle Paul, showcases the gospel’s transformative power in human relationships. Written to Philemon, a wealthy Christian of the city of Colossae (pronounced Col-O-sa-ee) in what today is the country of Turkey, it pleads for Onesimus, his runaway slave turned believer. Penned during Paul’s Roman imprisonment in AD 57–59, this personal appeal addresses forgiveness, reconciliation, and equality in Christ. This letter challenges Christians to embody Christ’s love amid broken systems and fractured relationships.
Paul wrote Philemon during his Roman imprisonment in AD 57–59, under house arrest (Acts 28:30). Despite confinement, he preached boldly (Philippians 1:12-13) and authored five powerful letters, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, (a lost letter to Laodicea, pronounced La-oh-DEEK-ya) and Philemon. Paul’s companion Epaphroditus carried Philippians to the Macedonian city of Philippi (Philippians 2:25-30), while another companion, Tychicus, along with Onesimus, delivered Colossians and Philemon to Colossae (Colossians 4:7-9). Epaphras, a Colossian leader and Paul’s “fellow prisoner” (Philemon 1:23), was in Rome, praying fervently for the churches in Colossae, Laodicea, and Hierapolis (Colossians 4:12-13). The letter reflects Paul’s pastoral heart.
Onesimus was a runaway slave. Knowing that in the Roman world he could be punished severely or even put to death if caught, he fled 1,200 miles away, to the largest city and melting pot in the empire, Rome. He must have felt sure that he would never be recognized or captured there. But, by divine providence, Onesimus encountered Paul in Rome, and Paul led him to the Lord. Paul regarded Onesimus his “son” in faith (v. 10). The irony of this is heightened by the fact that Paul knew Philemon, Onesimus’ master, intimately (he seems also to have led him to the Lord). The conversion of both master and slave shows the gospel’s redemptive power, akin to the prodigal son’s return (Luke 15:11-32). Onesimus, once “useless” to Philemon, became “useful” to both Paul and the church (v. 11), highlighting God’s ability to redeem broken lives.
Paul’s tone in this letter is pastoral and humble, opting for persuasion over his apostolic authority—his God-given right to command (v. 8). Appealing “for love’s sake” (v. 9), he offers to repay Onesimus’ debts (meaning his value as a slave stolen from his master by Onesimus’ flight, v. 18) while noting Philemon’s spiritual debt to him (for leading him to salvation in Christ, v. 19). This is not manipulation but spiritual fatherhood, urging Philemon to see Onesimus as a “beloved brother” (v. 16). Paul suggests a divine purpose: Onesimus’ flight led to his salvation, so Philemon might receive him “forever” in Christ (v. 15). This echoes Paul’s own redemption on the Damascus Road (Acts 9), where God turned rebellion into purpose.
Philemon is often scrutinized for its stance on slavery, a cornerstone of the Roman economy. Paul doesn’t condemn slavery outright but lays the groundwork for its undoing. In Galatians 3:28, he declares, “There is neither slave nor free… in Christ Jesus,” asserting spiritual equality. In 1 Corinthians 7:21-23, he encourages slaves to seek freedom if possible, framing believers as “Christ’s slaves.” In Philemon, Onesimus’s new status as a brother redefines his relationship with Philemon. Paul’s counsel to slaves (Ephesians 6:5) and masters (Colossians 4:1) operates within a broken system, urging justice and love, not endorsing slavery itself.
Modern readers may find Paul’s indirect approach unsatisfying, given slavery’s atrocities. Yet, his strategy was transformative: by changing hearts, the gospel reshapes society over time. Philemon subtly challenges slavery through gospel-driven reconciliation, not political revolt, as the failure of the Slave War led by Spartacus proved.
Onesimus’s 1,200-mile journey back to Colossae with Tychicus must have been fraught with anxiety. We can imagine a tense moment in Rome as Paul prepared Onesimus for the task:
“Onesimus,” Paul might have said, “I want you to go with Tychicus to Ephesus, Laodicea, and Colossae, taking my letters.”
“Colossae?” Onesimus may have asked, eyes wide, voice trembling. “Paul, you know I’m a runaway slave. If I return, my master Philemon might put me to death!”
“He might. But I don’t think he will. I’ve written him this letter.”
Onesimus clutched the sealed parchment, heart pounding. “What’s in it?”
“It’s private,” Paul replied, “between Philemon, a man I led to the Lord, and me. Trust in God, Onesimus. This letter carries His grace.”
“Do you think a letter will do it?” Onesimus asked, doubt lingering.
“I do,” Paul said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Go with God. He goes with you.”
“I hope so,” Onesimus said, fearing the unknown.
The journey—by sea from Rome’s port, Ostia, to Asia Minor, then inland to Colossae—tested Onesimus’ faith. Balancing the risk of his life with faith, his return embodied trust in Paul’s mediation and God’s providence. Philemon, receiving the letter, faced a momentous choice: to forgive and embrace Onesimus as a brother, reflecting Christ’s love, or to turn him over to the authorities, as an example to other slaves who might be tempted to abscond. In the Roman world, where runaway slaves faced crucifixion or branding, Philemon’s decision would reveal the gospel’s power to transform hearts and defy cultural norms.
How did Philemon respond? The fact that Philemon preserved the letter and that we possess a copy of it suggests that Philemon did as Paul asked. If he had not done so, he probably would have destroyed the letter.
Church tradition, recorded by Ignatius (c. AD 110), claims Onesimus became Ephesus’ bishop, implying that he not only remained free but became an important leader. This aligns with the letter’s message: transformed relationships testify to the gospel’s power.
Philemon offers timeless principles for Christian living:
Reflection: Where can you foster reconciliation or challenge injustice in your relationships or community? Philemon models how the gospel transforms not just individuals but societies, one relationship at a time.