1Having therefore these promises, beloved, let’s cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.
2Open your hearts to us. We wronged no one. We corrupted no one. We took advantage of no one. 3I say this not to condemn you, for I have said before that you are in our hearts to die together and live together. 4Great is my boldness of speech toward you. Great is my boasting on your behalf. I am filled with comfort. I overflow with joy in all our affliction.
5For even when we had come into Macedonia, our flesh had no relief, but we were afflicted on every side. Fightings were outside. Fear was inside. 6Nevertheless, he who comforts the lowly, God, comforted us by the coming of Titus, 7and not by his coming only, but also by the comfort with which he was comforted in you while he told us of your longing, your mourning, and your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced still more.
8For though I grieved you with my letter, I do not regret it, though I did regret it. For I see that my letter made you grieve, though just for a while. 9I now rejoice, not that you were grieved, but that you were grieved to repentance. For you were grieved in a godly way, that you might suffer loss by us in nothing. 10For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, which brings no regret. But the sorrow of the world produces death. 11For behold, this same thing, that you were grieved in a godly way, what earnest care it worked in you. Yes, what defense, indignation, fear, longing, zeal, and vindication! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be pure in the matter. 12So although I wrote to you, I wrote not for his cause that did the wrong, nor for his cause that suffered the wrong, but that your earnest care for us might be revealed in you in the sight of God. 13Therefore we have been comforted. In our comfort we rejoiced the more exceedingly for the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all. 14For if in anything I have boasted to him on your behalf, I was not disappointed. But as we spoke all things to you in truth, so our glorying also which I made before Titus was found to be truth. 15His affection is more abundantly toward you, while he remembers all of your obedience, how with fear and trembling you received him. 16I rejoice that in everything I am confident concerning you.
Paul had sent a harsh word to the Corinthians, and afterwards he wondered whether it was the right thing to do. His motive was to lovingly correct them. It wasn’t to make them grieve. They received his letter, and they wept over their condition. Paul wrote it to bring them to repentance; they received the news and made changes in their lives and in their church. When a believer is sorrowful about some sin in their life and repents of it, it brings life. It helps to draw them back into the will of God and into Christlike behavior. Because of his love for them and his prior visits, Paul had laid the foundation of a good relationship, and he had the standing to write such a letter.
When I was about forty years old, I moved to a new community. I had just suffered a terrible personal blow that resulted in the loss of a company which my wife and I had started and built. We were pushed out of the business by younger partners. It was a tremendous blow to both of us, but it really affected me. Often, a man wrongfully looks to his work to find his value, worth, and identity. It’s a long story and doesn’t need to be retold here, but it hurt my pride and affected my psyche. As I joined a small men’s group in my new community, I shared my wound, and frankly, it dominated my thoughts and much of my conversation. I was always talking about myself to try, I suppose, to convince myself and others that I had value and worth after letting some other guys get the best of me. One day, one of the brothers in the small group said to me, “You just love talking about yourself.” OUCH! I grieved at those words. I didn’t consciously realize it, but my subconscious self knew it was true, and I was devastated. I had become one of those pitiful people who always have to have the better story or be at the center of the conversation. I needed correction, and this brother gently pointed out a mistake. He had listened to me for many hours, and he had earned the right to give me a harsh letter, wrapped up in some gentle words.
You might need such a letter, or perhaps you need to give someone one. Make sure that if you do, you have spent the time with that person to lay a good foundation. Speak to them in gentle words that help them to see the error of their ways and give them a clear path to walk out of it. People tend to talk about themselves because of insecurity. They don’t think much of themselves, so they overcompensate by trying to build themselves up in the eyes of others. Old wounds affect us greatly. If you can’t get past them, they will affect what you think, do, and say. The enemy uses them to distort us and causes us to focus on ourselves. Be open to correction, and if you need to correct a brother or a sister, lay the foundation, and do so with the greatest of love. If you do, it can bring life back to them. Paul had done so with the Corinthians, and they received the news, changed their behavior, and rejoiced.