1Be therefore imitators of God, as beloved children. 2Walk in love, even as Christ also loved us and gave himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling fragrance.
3But sexual immorality, and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be mentioned among you, as becomes saints; 4nor filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not appropriate, but rather giving of thanks.
5Know this for sure, that no sexually immoral person, nor unclean person, nor covetous man (who is an idolater), has any inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and God.
6Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes on the children of disobedience. 7Therefore don’t be partakers with them. 8For you were once darkness, but are now light in the Lord. Walk as children of light, 9for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth, 10proving what is well pleasing to the Lord. 11Have no fellowship with the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather even reprove them. 12For it is a shame even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret. 13But all things, when they are reproved, are revealed by the light, for everything that reveals is light. 14Therefore he says, “Awake, you who sleep, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”
15Therefore watch carefully how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, 16redeeming the time, because the days are evil. 17Therefore, don’t be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18Don’t be drunken with wine, in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, 19speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs; singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; 20giving thanks always concerning all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; 21subjecting yourselves to one another in the fear of Christ.
22Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body. 24But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their own husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for her, 26that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27that he might present the assembly to himself gloriously, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without defect. 28Even so husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. 29For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord also does the assembly, 30because we are members of his body, of his flesh and bones. 31“For this cause a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife. Then the two will become one flesh.” 32This mystery is great, but I speak concerning Christ and the assembly. 33Nevertheless each of you must also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
When the word love is used, a variety of ideas might be in the mind of people in contemporary society. It may be loving sports, pets, friends, children, spouses and God. Love may be only an emotional response, or it can be an act of sacrifice for another person. The kind of love asked of the husband by the apostle Paul is not one of emotion or romantic attraction. The term agape (ἀγάπη) is a decision of the will by which a person seeks the highest good for another person (a la Charles Finney), according to the will of God. This is the kind of love that Paul exhorts the husband to have for his wife, and does so by comparing this human love to that of Christ's love for the church.
The apostle's teaching is based first on the nature and responsibility of male and female in Genesis 1-3, to be one, to procreate, and to dominate the earth as vice-regents with God. Adam and Eve were created to be partners in fulfilling the purposes of God in the earth. They were both created in the image of God, albeit Eve through Adam, and they were told to "be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it. Have dominion over the dish of the sea, over the birds of the sky, and over every living thing that moves on the earth" (Gen 1:28).
Based on the biblical teaching of Genesis and the parallel example of how Christ relates to the church, he provides several duties of the husband to be like Jesus. The love of which Paul speaks is not emotional or romantic love, but a love directed toward the good of another person besides oneself. We have something unusual in the biblical text that is different from what one expects. Since immediately before this instruction he had commanded wives to be subject to their husbands as they are obedient to the Lord, one would have expected an exhortation on how a husband is to rule his wife, but this is absent. Rather he teaches how a husband is to love his wife, seeking her highest good. Though the man and woman may have initially had a romantic attraction, upon marriage the love becomes an act of the will to love another more than oneself. Moreover, this command is based on the prototype of how Christ loves the church.
There are several ways that apostle illustrates how the husband is to love his wife. The first is that he is to love by sacrificing for his wife, even as was done by Jesus for the church: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (5:25). Thus, in the marriage, the husband is to give of himself, not get for himself.
Second, the husband loves like Christ by sanctifying his wife (5:26) by cleansing her with the Word of God. This is similar to what we see Jesus saying about the church (at that time the disciples) in John 17:17: "Sanctify them in your truth. Your word is truth." As famed New Testament scholar, B.F. Westcott said, 'Christ loved the Church not because it was perfectly lovable, but in order to make it such."
The third manner in which a husband may love his wife is to nourish and cherish her, as Christ does the church. This requires the husband to become aware of her needs. The apostle Peter speaks to this when he exhorts husbands to dwell with their wives according to knowledge (1 Pet 3:7). He must love her like he loves himself. He must discover her interests and find ways in which to fulfill her desires and dreams. He will cherish (Eph 5:29) her by being sensitive to her concerns and needs.
Fourth, the husband is to commit to her. He does this by leaving his father than mother to become one flesh with his wife. By this is not meant to abandon one's relationship with father and mother, brother and sister, or son and daughter. It is that the husband, unlike the other relationships, has a much more intimate relationship with his wife than with any other relative or friend. He becomes "one flesh" with her, one that demands commitment to the relationship.
Fifth, with this intimate relationship of a husband and wife comes the need to love her by sexually fulfilling her. This is a difficult subject to discuss, since it is the most intimate and personal aspect of two persons, the sharing of bodies and emotions that blends the lives of the couple. Even the Hebrew terms "male" and "female" speak of the sexual nature and uniqueness of the man and woman as intended by God. They are different anatomically and yet they are one together. The one flesh of Genesis speaks of this reality. The apostle emphasizes the importance of this relationship in 1 Corinthians 7:2-5, something unlikely in the ancient world. He presents the husband and wife equally having a duty to the other sexually that can only be broken by the duty of commitment to spiritual responsibilities, but then only for a short time.
Sixth, and last, the apostle emphasizes again the need of a husband to love his wife, with the added duty of the wife (consistent with the teaching regarding wives to subject themselves to their husbands in 5:22-24) to respect her husband. Each partner has been given responsibility for themselves, and not on the other, in order to strengthen the marriage as a reflection of Christ and His church toward each other.