1Now concerning the things about which you wrote to me: it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2But, because of sexual immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3Let the husband give his wife the affection owed her, and likewise also the wife her husband. 4The wife doesn’t have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise also the husband doesn’t have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5Don’t deprive one another, unless it is by consent for a season, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and may be together again, that Satan doesn’t tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6But this I say by way of concession, not of commandment. 7Yet I wish that all men were like me. However, each man has his own gift from God, one of this kind, and another of that kind. 8But I say to the unmarried and to widows, it is good for them if they remain even as I am. 9But if they don’t have self-control, let them marry. For it’s better to marry than to burn with passion. 10But to the married I command—not I, but the Lord—that the wife not leave her husband 11(but if she departs, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband not leave his wife.
12But to the rest I—not the Lord—say, if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she is content to live with him, let him not leave her. 13The woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he is content to live with her, let her not leave her husband. 14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in the husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15Yet if the unbeliever departs, let there be separation. The brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace. 16For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
17Only, as the Lord has distributed to each man, as God has called each, so let him walk. So I command in all the assemblies.
18Was anyone called having been circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? Let him not be circumcised. 19Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is keeping God’s commandments. 20Let each man stay in that calling in which he was called. 21Were you called being a bondservant? Don’t let that bother you, but if you get an opportunity to become free, use it. 22For he who was called in the Lord being a bondservant is the Lord’s free man. Likewise he who was called being free is Christ’s bondservant. 23You were bought with a price. Don’t become bondservants of men. 24Brothers, let each man, in whatever condition he was called, stay in that condition with God.
25Now concerning virgins, I have no commandment from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who has obtained mercy from the Lord to be trustworthy. 26Therefore I think that because of the distress that is on us, it’s good for a man to remain as he is. 27Are you bound to a wife? Don’t seek to be freed. Are you free from a wife? Don’t seek a wife. 28But if you marry, you have not sinned. If a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have oppression in the flesh, and I want to spare you. 29But I say this, brothers: the time is short. From now on, both those who have wives may be as though they had none; 30and those who weep, as though they didn’t weep; and those who rejoice, as though they didn’t rejoice; and those who buy, as though they didn’t possess; 31and those who use the world, as not using it to the fullest. For the mode of this world passes away.
32But I desire to have you to be free from cares. He who is unmarried is concerned for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33but he who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife. 34There is also a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 35This I say for your own benefit, not that I may ensnare you, but for that which is appropriate, and that you may attend to the Lord without distraction.
36But if any man thinks that he is behaving inappropriately toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of her age, and if need so requires, let him do what he desires. He doesn’t sin. Let them marry. 37But he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no urgency, but has power over his own will, and has determined in his own heart to keep his own virgin, does well. 38So then both he who gives his own virgin in marriage does well, and he who doesn’t give her in marriage does better.
39A wife is bound by law for as long as her husband lives; but if the husband is dead, she is free to be married to whomever she desires, only in the Lord. 40But she is happier if she stays as she is, in my judgment, and I think that I also have God’s Spirit.
3 Let the husband give his wife the affection owed her, and likewise also the wife her husband. 4 The wife doesn’t have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, also the husband doesn’t have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Don’t deprive one another, unless it is by consent for a season, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and may be together again, that Satan doesn’t tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
One of the things I love about the Bible is that it addresses so many real-life issues. In this chapter, Paul provides detailed instructions to the Corinthian church regarding family relationships. The Bible gives us truth, and it instructs us how to live out that truth. I had a former pastor who used to say that B.I.B.L.E. stands for “Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.” It truly is God’s instruction manual for mankind. Paul begins this chapter by saying, “I wish everyone could be single like me. It would make things a whole lot easier.” Paul is not recommending singleness or celibacy; he is just making a practical observation. He then addresses the relationship between a husband and wife. He tells both the husband and the wife to show affection to one another. The dictionary states that “affection” is a gentle feeling of fondness or liking. My wife and I sometimes give marital advice to young couples. We always focus on the verse that says, “32 And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32 WEB) She will lovingly tell them, “It’s easy to know that you love each other, but it is much harder to be kind to one another.”
Kindness doesn’t complain when clothes are left unfolded. Kindness doesn’t complain when the biscuits aren’t cooked just right. Kindness answers back harshness with a soft word. Paul digs even deeper. He tells couples not to use their gift of sexual pleasure as a weapon against each other. Abstaining from sex for a short, limited time period is okay, but it is not the norm. And, both should agree on it. In our counseling sessions, we have met couples who were still very young, and yet either the man or the woman would deny the other partner sexual relations. I’ve met young women who, after having a child, would never have sex with their husbands again. Paul speaks against such things. It is essentially unfaithfulness. It is a form of cheating on your husband. When a woman denies giving her body to her husband, it is as wrong as the husband being unfaithful or becoming addicted to pornography. These kinds of dysfunctions have no place among married Christian couples.
Paul also addresses those who remain single. The chapter is full of advice on human relationships. God gives us all the instructions we need to have good relationships with others, whether we are married to them or not. Kindness is a recurring theme. Every human contact is an opportunity for courtesy or conflict. Choose courtesy. That’s kindness. It is the godly thing to do.